senile delinquent

childhood

2009-03-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

when the music is over, the lights come on to show the decent soul.
once in awhile we get those sanguine souls and restless toes that hope for yet another mo.
staving off unnecessary interventions is what some people do. that's what i choose to do too.
for those who take things ex-ante, this is just our forte.
ugly truth be told, no one wants to be defeated, no.
the godfathers pay their dues, as they gather them thugs who break the rules, yet no one gives a hoot or two. that's what we do. if we might, we beat the lights just for what they call a fight.
the music is over, when we say it's over. it ain't over. watch us hover over their shoulders.

a price to pay

2009-01-13T13:53:00.009+08:00

nine years ago, i appeared at the entrance of a provision store with a friend. this friend of mine was extremely inquisitive and he loved all sorts of thrills and challenges. a fortunate pity maybe, i wasn't. at that very entrance, he emptied half of the books he brought to school that day from his bag into mine, and muttered under his breath, "it's gonna be fun, watch me." i felt uneasy knowing he had an unreasonably huge risk appetite, and began backing off from where i was until i stood about 20 metres from the store. but i still made sure i could do what he told me to do - watch him get some fun.

when he was in, he headed straight for the kitchen appliance section. there, he found what he wanted - little tins of liquid fuel. each yellow tin was marked with a prominent red fire logo, indicating its flammable nature. they were fairly visible from where i was standing as they periodically let off a sparkle due to the reflected light rays from the moving cars that hot sunny afternoon. one by one, tin by tin, my friend dropped what he wanted into his bagpack which by then was already slung over only one side of his shoulder and pulled to the front, positioned nicely in between where he was standing and the shelf.

"c'mon, c'mon...", i chanted to myself as i tightened my jaw, still mesmerized perhaps by his apparent act of "bravery". truth be told, i wanted him to be succeed. for what exact reasons i had no idea. it could be that i just wanted my friend to be safe or it could be that i just wanted him to really end up having more fun than fear. but well, i did remember i stood in envy, thinking how things could have been so easy for him while it definitely wouldn't have been so for me. as i began gathering my thoughts, he had already moved on to his exit strategy after pacing up and down the store for a couple of minutes to appear confident he couldn't find what he needed in order to eliminate suspicion. at this instance, something else caught my eye. i could sense danger as the shopkeeper, an old man probably in his sixties, made his way for the exit in much greater haste. it seemed clear to me as a dedicated spectator that his intention was to thwart my friend's plan to escape scot-free.

my heart stopped momentarily as he blocked the exit ready for the inevitable ugly confrontation. i couldn't do lip-reading but somehow it didn't take me too much trouble to figure out the exact content of the conversation they had. the shopkeeper had appeared frustrated after a short 20-second negotiation and reached out for the juvenile delinquent's bag. what happened next was perhaps the climax of the many spectacular incidents i've witnessed in my entire life then. i stared in utter disbelief as my friend charged desperately towards the old man with the intention of taking him down before making his escape run. well i figured my friend snapped - he must have. the old man stayed down raising his hands signalling he was in great pain while shouting profusely to those around him for the thief to be caught. i couldn't bear with the sight any longer. i boarded the bus that appeared just in time in front of my face to block me totally from the traumatising scene. it also appeared in time to make me what i clearly did not sign up for - an accomplice.

nine years later, i spoke to the same friend. he had since escaped from the store which he went through great lengths never to step near for nine years. but beyond that, he had escaped from the law, from his conscience for nine years. one trivial note though, he'd left what he'd taken, by the entrance of store, one month after the incident took place but it didn't mattered that much especially to him since some damages that he had done could never be removed.

it appears to me he has lived in regret and remorse thinking about what he has done while not being able to fully atone for a grave mistake that he has once chosen to run away from.

nine years later, today, i feel exactly the same way he did nine years ago.

as the man himself says, "you can run and hide from some mistakes, but some mistakes will always stay fresh in your head. the only expensive option you have is to face the music and make it go away by making up for it day by day. knowing that's really the only way."

i hope one day, all these will really go away.

not all is ever lost, ever.

2008-12-28T23:38:00.002+08:00

engaging in speculative activities gives you two outcomes, either you win, or you lose. oh and let's not forget the draw, but that in my experience, rarely happens. fortunate or unfortunate for me, recently, i've allowed myself to seek relief from speculative pleasures amidst the not so immense pressure from mundane nine to five, actually six, working world. well it turns out it does cost me quite a little for such pleasure.

as much as i'd love to throw in a few self-comforting words to console myself of the losses i've incurred, or even allow the sour grapes feeling to consume me entirely, i must admit that indeed there were some lessons to be learnt, which i've found pretty much very valuable to the average speculator, or gambler, if i must say.

during moments when we were terribly down, we tend to make irrational decisions which will serve only to exert additional pressure to ourselves and more often than not these choices we make will give us unfavorable outcomes which so happen to bring us further down the losing end. the only way to improve the situation for yourself is not to simply take on more risks, or increase the stakes pertaining to subsequent bets. i won't discredit the fact that with higher speculation, there comes greater profits. which in financial terms we've coined it the risk-return trade-off. but perhaps, the more fundamental issue here is, how much risk can you afford to take?

looks like somebody didn't come out a loser that much after all. there's a lesson behind every phenomenon.

don't we all love life now?

A Ran-doom Walk Down War Street

2008-10-10T23:54:00.011+08:00

I can still vividly recall that not too long ago, the Dow fetched many of us the bacon with an all time high. Not too surprisingly but more of shockingly, we made history once again. Between last Christmas and the next which has yet to arrive, the Dow has fallen by 5600 points.

I use to think market watching gets a little interesting at times simply because you get to witness the funny things we do to drive the market crazy. And I get especially thrilled taking a random walk down Wall Street to see the market go on steroids. Somehow, this time if you see what I see, you might share my sentiment – this is not funny anymore.

Start with this for some quick reality check to digest – many major football clubs that you and I love ever so much are in severe debt due to the credit crunch and I shit you not, they may be going down if they don’t get it sorted out.

A friend (Ye Zhong) said to me today, “Wah Eugene, the Dow is quite shag. Think about it, it has fallen 600+ plus points (-10%) in one day."

A true friend I am as usual, I’ve been thinking about what that 10% plunge is signaling. Then I start to see the signs as to how bloody low the word “shag” can bring us down to. I hope Ye Zhong feels the same way too, as I continue now to read into that number to come up with an answer.

Try this with me. What do you see?

This test has probably been done a million times. Yet it continues to provide one of the key reasoning to account for the mess that we’re in right now. Perception, perception. Everyone’s seeing the market as a half-empty glass of water, totally ignoring the fact that it is actually half-filled. Why buy now when it only gets cheaper? Unless we start believing that we cannot go lower further together, we’re going down in this bear market together.

Let’s leave humans being humans aside and go right into governments being governments. The regulators did their jobs. I bet you noticed that when they started deciding who should fall and who shouldn’t. We all feel their presence, and of course we recognize their power even more when they go deep into their pockets to make sure the best companies stay in this bear market. I welcome rebuttals for this stand but I feel very strongly that it is time. It is time they reciprocate this very public recognition and respect of their power by also recognizing the power of the free market. Let the bad barrels fall and the market will correct itself. Yes, no doubt they were good barrels once, and they drove the economy during the glory days, but it is time we start afresh. While one may argue that good barrels in the markets now are what make the apples good, I beg to differ. In actual fact, it has never been this way. Markets fall, barrels topple, but good apples will always stay.

As the big forest fire continues to burn - pardon me - let the motherfucker burn. Quit trying to stop it with human intervention. Leave it be and as history has proven it, between now and zero, there will come a point where we start flat, ready to grow our trees again.

I guess it doesn’t take too long before another 2 investment houses get nationalized, but I still see no volunteers to take the lead to drive the bull down Wall Street again. Well who can we blame? It is human nature, after all.

Future Rehearsals

2008-09-09T00:12:00.014+08:00

Fed sure took awhile before coming into this beautifully tainted picture. And when he does, he transform the implicit assumptions into explicit terms. Apparently, he claims he's in control now, and how's that for a all-time explicit transformation.

Freddie and Fannie sitting under the tree, D I S S I N G. The last time I checked, we were subtly asking who they are doing this to. But who are we kidding? It has got to be us - you and me included. Well recently of course, Fed was brave enough to intuitively take the initiative for the bailout of our long time dream builders. It seems almost like he's willing to take the entire rap for the massive crap that has been caused. However, don't get me wrong here, Freddie and Fannie are right to build dreams, for they are created to do so. But I guess we were all guilty of standing by as they started building too many castles on the tree they were on. And that was when things turned awry and the castles started toppling down on us. To sidetrack from the heat of the situation, in my opinion, they should be renamed Bob instead. Yeah, Bob the Builder. This one's unique though, they're responsible for the building of castles in the American dream.

If you're one of those who got "surfed" - while being served - big time in the recent crunch caused by the Famous Fs - Freddie, Fannie and now Fed - my heart goes all the way out to you. Yet before we start shooting our mouths off, we'll want to give it some thought to save ourselves from making the same old mistake of shooting ourselves in our own legs again. Seriously, did we even ever dare to assume that we're gonna survive without them or this ordeal? The thought of this assumption makes me cringe. Personally, I believe it's hardly even possible given any market conditions we have experienced or any we may potentially face.

Time and time again, research has everything we need to prove that the superpower houses still have it. In essence, have what? My sentiments exactly. It doesn't take 2 shots at the bloombird to realize that no one has nothing of much substance lately. For one thing is certain, and that is uncertainty. No one sees a dime as a dime anymore. It always looks more than one but yet it consistently proves otherwise.

Pessimism is a sin, I insist, as the only way to get out of the mess we all play a part in creating is to think otherwise. As the next crunch awaits, we've got this perculiar bunch holding on to their very own unrealistic view that we may not get hit by the recession off our shore afterall. From my observation, we're obviously already in one. Face the music, spread the things we hold on to ever so tightly and together we can all build better dreams than Bob.

HYPE

2008-08-28T22:54:00.007+08:00

game on. recall and we all say aye. guilty of playin' 'i spy with my eye' yet shy of guessing where and why. now how's that for something money can't buy. gonn' share the hype before i lose the 'psych'.

above all:

hype is not knowing what you don't know. the apparent ironic element of this phenomenon appears to be once again rather bearish - in financial terms, they call it risk-risk.

hype is the audacity of hope - barack hussein obama II. hold your breath, the white house is on fire yet again.

under the radar:

hype is turning what's fake orginal to give the original fakes.
hype is juice clot at the wrong heads with the right girls.

hype is staying undercover longer than you think.

hype is a porter at the tokyo head office.

hype is obeying the propaganda giant.

hype is skaterboys surfin' off the wall.

hype is when tokyo kiks sneaks in.

hype is keepin your fingercroxxed.

hype is juxtaposition through collaborations.

hype is hype.

got hype?

Today's Breakaway Will Bite Back Tomorrow.

2008-08-19T23:01:00.005+08:00

As the subprime crisis continues due to the ongoing credit market turmoils, the powerhouse prices goes up, appearing almost ready to weather another storm. The toppling of one giant Bear, illustrates the helplessness of the drowning Bull. The bull never sees red. Red comes as blood shed. Blood shed by the layman brothers, merry leech, goodman sex, shitty bangs and many more.

The sector needs to shrink by at least a few hectars, yet our nation's people, myself included, have never considered that as a factor. We continue to hunt for the next Bear for our breakaway before it falls all over again. We pray that the Bull changes its view of red, to push past its slump for that victorious day. Only through this way our efforts pay off in many ways.

Let's hope the night doesn't get too dark just before the dawn, for the darkest night might just bite back tomorrow for a little too long.

eye play

2008-06-10T23:53:00.003+08:00

the ultimate trickery of a lifetime lies beyond the thin line.
yet staying on the line keeps us blind.
the good thing is, we all try.
there's still someone waiting to slice the pie.

surprise surprise

2008-05-26T23:53:00.002+08:00

i'm not anywhere near that. a routine, that's what i call it.
they say you don't kill a man the way you don't wanna get killed.
yet i don't sense a trace of respect left for him.
give me solace. give me grace.
this one's for real. this one's gonn' tell.
hopes are kept high, though i wish to keep them down.
i kept my fingers crossed and prayed that history not repeat itself.

it all happens for a reason. what a relief from that line for both sides.
well o' well, i wish you well.
i'm waiting for mine.
it should come soon.
or maybe not.

karma police comes after you.
believe it or not. someone's watching, that's your call as a matter of fact.
we practice what we preach, not. what's with the ritual. they don't mean a thing sometimes.
look up ahead at what the fathers have done.
godfather is watching you, beyond what our fathers have done.
give it a thought, who tied the knot?

work it

2008-05-25T01:58:00.002+08:00

the goldfish swims around all day looking for food to swim around all day.
history has it. sayings have it. they say it. we have it.

8:15 wakeup calls.
8:45 train rides.
9:15 morning greetings from the fishes who've started looking for food.
9:30 coffee run.
10:00 more coffee runs.
12:15 mid-day meetings with the fellow interns.
13:30 back to the tank.
13:45 the same fishes will ask, "thank god eugene, how do u find your food for lunch?"
14:00 coffee run.
18:00 leaving the tank. to return again.
any other time, work.

the puerto rican goes on, livin' la vida loca.

Ethics

2008-02-28T22:47:00.005+08:00

"The difference between 'lie' and 'lay'
Has fallen into deep decay.
But now we know from Enron's shame
That Lay and "lie" are just the same"

This one's from the latest dilemma i faced with that of multiple selves.
One clash of multiple ethical selves caused Baxter to kill himself.
Almost needless to say, a heart attack too took the life of Lay.
The slightest adoption of the veil of ignorance, would have cloud our judgment, of who's the real victim in that situation.
I ain't anywhere close to being a foe, just doing my part in keeping y'all in the know:

Fools rush in, when angels fail to tread. As the race goes on, we tend to focus on the riches beyond the pawns. I'll love to hedge my bet on this but believe me this time round. Some old clever clogs are hidden deep within the pawns. They've got a whistle in their mouth, ready to blow on anyone just slightly caught with their pants down. In light of the infamous Enron scandal, we're forced to access the severity of being caught in the crossfire, let alone that of being caught red-handed. Here's a plausible excuse I've yet to use: Do it the ol' school way, believe in the Pygmalion Effect to support the facts anyway.

PS: What is this i hear about a terrorist in the lurk?
Tell me that dude's ain't gonna be in my neighborhood.

remember the name

2008-02-23T01:04:00.005+08:00

the calling out was never done in the least possible rightful manner.
yet i hear her. screaming from deep within under any weather.

i stared hard on the local tv set. no effort was needed in doing that.
i stared right through that. not on purpose but just the lack of focus that i had.

all i ever did, was to wait for a deed.
or for an answer. that will never falter.

the act of deceiving has brought me here.
i could go on beer.
but i've gone on to steer.
now off the track i will never veer.

who would've thought i'd come this far,
when i acted like i was behind bars?
nah, all i heard was rah tah tah,
on how im just a lucky fella.

we have trust issues.
you know we do.
ma bad under ma own cells and tissues,
for the wrongs i've done to you.

but think again.
who has it to gain when i go for fame.
i go through pain,
for the name of the game.
it's your name, his name, again and again.

hopes are never meant for the drain.
never in my context i shall claim.
anything less than 'your names' for my game.

i need a break, when i get a break.
but i get a bait, to draw me dead.
yet i hold on to my greatest take:
mankind is great,
because it is a dream that we try to make.
a special year ahead.
before that date, take a leap of fate.

checkmate.

options are opened, still.

2008-02-20T00:46:00.007+08:00

every once in a while i picture a dust trail following an old red nova.
liberty spasms call on me in a random fashion. freedom, freedom. the lack of it and you can catch me in my post mortem.
random as it may be, the feeling of tar and fast cars brings me further from the definition of far.

or so the latest vulgarity i have learned is conformity. one look is all it takes. offensive. when the word was first used, who took it offensively that deliberately? hardly anyone as i can see. see what it has done to me. a prey in this system with a white id. retrospectively and thankfully, it ain't what the soldiers call the 11b.

according to egalitarians, everyone gets a fair share of the cake. at this very moment. you should listen to the man of theories.
close your eyes.
open it again.
what do you see?
if i ain't no longer there like a bumble bee.
where else can i be?
ask the attorney,
who slices the cake actually?

that little something

2008-01-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

believe i read faces when i say cause me pain hedi slimane.
as u hear em speak, u might as well just hear me talk shit.
g's been around long enough to tell me he keeps forgetting.
the best part is, he tries to remember.
my sentiments exactly g, way back to the days you feel pain.
when was the last time i start asking:
"i can't seem to forget something".

dreambeam

2008-01-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

mankind is great because we all have dreams.

say aye if u feel me without a jinx. the solicited stays certain yet obscure. this oxymoron is probably one that we can live with. not for long but long enough for the realization of the very reason of why we are great, to actually occur. we have a dream, we all do i suppose. that being said, you can possibly guess what is about to come next.

for all that is worth, if you've been keeping up with the records, you probably will have heard of this one. i have a dream, says martin luther king. a man like all of us. a man with a dream. i would but with much discretion then resentment agree with you if you'd thought that he made a unique choice. a choice to take his greatness elsewhere, somewhere most of us took 20 years just to simply understand what he was trying to do. nevertheless, the resemblance between the current and that of the past in what we dream leaves me in constant doubt. of late, it has occurred to me that king's style was probably the style. i been keeping it my style. high time we hit things round the corner and do it the orator's style.

with that much talk about personal style we can't possibly leave this one out. follow me through this. one man. did a brokeback. a joker. naked on his bed. drugged. dead. seriously. like seriously. that brought us to take a look at the other end of the spectrum. somehow or rather, it appears to me, he, too, took a unique approach. but believe it or not, this time round i think he deserves all the respect for the roles he has played in our lives. no worries, i ain't near to just about starting that minute of silence. perhaps, this man did have a dream. well at least he had a daughter. that might just be his dream.

i have a dream, since i was 17. may we all live the dream.

a narrow squeeze

2008-01-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

the last time i checked i was in debt. when that happened, someone lent me a helping hand. of late, i lack the luxury of getting lucky with benign acts. 23 tells me living on credit is unethical. as age catches up on me, i start to convince myself and those around me, it is not viable for me to think easy. easy is for E, but on the contrary, it ain't for me. what makes me tick, is simple yet a mystery. same rule applies for those around me, "do unto others before they do unto you".

a vicious predisposition for one's behavior to begin with, yet a logical progression down the timeline. before i start realizing what's amiss, seize the moment to increase the beat. the last time i checked, i heard of carpe diem before i was 23. say aye if you feel the breeze.

sneak peek

2007-12-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

got my feet wet, so here's another step.
a feeling of vast discomfiture, i don't wanna have.
so spot the feet of clay and correct me if im wrong.

xmas is a time to share.
if sharing can give health.
the first person i shared my wealth with this xmas is jack.
for all that is worth, jack purcell, one who gives a clean bill of health.
this one's just in from leftfoot.
healthy merry xmas y'all.

the itch is strictly prohibited

2007-12-20T20:48:00.000+08:00

he who resorts to raking up the past, lives in the past.
the search is on above what has been found.
like scavengers we hunt as though all has been lost without holding ground.
damage control 101: salvage the band, stop while you still can.
reluctance to start has never outweigh the reluctance to stop.
the sheer willingness to start makes it ever so difficult to end.
take a hike towards the console as not everyone gets the fair chance of a wanted return.
sojourn. sojourn. that's all you get.
A is for Andy as it is for Advice:
live the game like you love the game.

say what?

2007-12-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

it ought to have long occurred to many that it may just seem a little too convenient for us to take a break before realizing everything is over altogether once again. with that being said, i begin yet another different yet difficult quest towards having people picture me as what is called the "P" word. all i know is, the last time i did it, it got me scalded really bad, real bad. bad could just have been an understatement after all. nobody comes out of it unhurt. high time, i figure, it gets reveled as a what we will broadly classify as a one way street - what goes in never comes out and perhaps ought to just stay the same. it's an arms race never worth fighting. long awaited as it may seem, fellas worship it just in time to get outta it. somehow i feel, we don't like it. i don't like it. even the bystanders do certainly show that they don't like it. so why then, do we do it? one question i will love to take. while i still have it, think again folks, if we ain't in, who's in it? if we don't do it, will the bystanders even benefit from it?

when it's a race to three, it may take more than three to complete this race. you don't like it? well, u know what folks, think again.

i don't miss, i think

2007-12-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

12pm. trip to that ever so familiar land where the sun rises for the bird(s) to play possum.

2pm. police 'catches' thief way easier than games we used to play when nothing seems to be of much worry to us. what we didn't know was that thieves, they break out of prisons.

5pm. breaking out isn't my forte. but i needed to do it once in a while to get some air.

7pm. the golden compass. effectuated a sleep in me instantaneously.

11pm. prawning session turned location identification ride turned phone searching experience.

3am. perseverance prevails when all else fails. if you ever had a moment when all is lost, all just could be found.

4am. one last conversation before the next in a good 20 days.

5pm the next day. signs of old age as memories start to fade. tell me again, what happened yesterday. all that i could remember was someone was still there yesterday.

remember remember... the 29th of October

2007-12-02T14:43:00.001+08:00

if you don't already know the news. here's news. the man with the name left not too long ago. he left behind what he couldn't and gladly wouldn't take with him. every once in a while somebody leaves a line or two. but there's only a few worth keeping in mind. i'd been keeping my ears, my mind open for this man. this one's for you as it is for me.

"All you need to do after falling down is to stand up again." - Kihachiro Onitsuka

you heard the man, so did i. a tribute to his attribute.

what makes u stand, makes u fall. stop here if u're one who stays down. u'll never live to catch the breeze in any of these, or those.

"Introduced in 1966, these original training shoes were the first Onitsuka Tiger shoes with the famous stripes. They were worn at the Mexico Olympic Games of 1968."

If u'd consistently looked close enough, u'd have realized how it came right from the horse's mouth, under the Tiger's tongue.

May his spirit live on forever.

try again

2007-12-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

this festive season kicks start a whole new level of uncertainty.

urban renewal that prognosticates a social and cultural renaissance. i see it.
an omen before another academic battle. i seek it.
destructive gossips done indiscreetly. i avoid it.
wise skepticism being the first attribute of a good critic. i learn it.
the quality of being vague and poorly defined. i dump it.
a mystery that narrows the separation between the winners and losers down to a fine line. i savor it.
to blur the edges so the mind blends together properly. i know it.
an act to create dissonance via deception and elusion to stay on top of the game. they worship it.

a man of formalities i am. bite me for all i care. the game don't change. only the players do.

judgment call

2007-11-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

all eyes on the "Ice" once so cool and nice. as it gets "Tensed" and dried, we hail the heat, we hail it like we never did. there was no lack of consensus. we all knew intuitively, that was "it". so, we did what we did. to be exact, may i correct, we do what we do. we keep the ice tight. we put up a tough fight. a drill we follow through since cosmic came into sight and on site.

jargons never fail for this matter to deliver in the right manner. those of you who're with the band, you might need to bear with this while you can.

first, there was this red dong, who had this thing that gets him going with a bong. yes, a bong. not one of those reverberations which might eventually turn out to form a song. but one of those that terms get written on. where money changes into paper form. where investments get their capital from. aights, i shan't prolong. it's wrong, yet fresh from mr. redong, it's a bond. hear me horn, it's still dawn, it's a long journey i'm gettin on.

if you'd been looking for the best deal in terms of load that you don't really want, you probably don't wanna miss out on this one. his name is han. seems like he's always on the run. not like he can't but just the way he gets things done. well if u think pricing, distributing, channeling, strategizing, advertising and segmenting might just be fun, (no pun) but think again ma'an, of none.

the tables just turned. hear them screech as i hear her speak. no shit. not one we can easily beat. how i define speed. neat and sweet. no glitch. just pure speed to ditch those sidekicks off the unit as she feed her speech against the traffic. science's a bitch. with management you can hear me plead. one you should meet indeed. miss proceed - creak - at lightspeed quick.

the finest of 'em all. reminders of a doll. reminders not to fall. reminders of how to play the ball. that's the type of call. accountability beyond the walls of campus hall. before you stall, it's hongkong y'all.

as the tension slacken. the ice turns to a solvent. yet it seems tied to the system as though it's incumbent to remain stiffened.

when "Infants" turn "Talent". that's when we learn, that's "it".

link-it up

2007-11-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

the distinct difference between the rolling stones and that of the recent gigs remains obscure.
yesterday's aspiration may well serve to be today's inspiration and merely just tomorrow's imagination.
as the 80s goes on an excessive overhaul, the believers take the stage before their truehearted clientele.
skimming across the globe, they take with them more than just layers of wealth.

illustrious ideas keep me going pretty well,
yet once in a while, i wonder how.

hold your horses as for now, for listen up while i tell:

To Joe, Mike, Chester, Brad, Rob and Farrell,

"Hope your album sells like hell."

Cheers,

the one-time parkophile

the two-sided game

2007-11-07T11:38:00.000+08:00

uncle quek comes home one day, claiming to his live-in partner, auntie ching, "i gave myself a pay rise."

before anyone gets to say anything, uncle quek drives everyone out for a celebration as though he has just owned everything. the next part of the happy news comes somewhat subtly. oil prices, food prices, drink prices have gone up. uncle quek drives everyone home. now, no one, said nothing.

well uncle quek should have allowed someone to say something. i for that matter could have been contributory in keeping his spirits high for just that one day.

not all flash figures have been adjusted for inflation. like not all good news come without bad news on the flip side. figures can be puffed up merely as a result of rising prices. like good results can be puffed up merely due to rising expectations.

before we make merry over good news, think of those who're getting the bad news.

somebody must have taken care of uncle quek's pay rise. i'll find that somebody. and perhaps be that somebody, someday.

a therapy

2007-10-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

they try to make me go to rehab but i said no.. no.. no..
that was when it all began.

i would very much love to stop the rain from falling.
but retail's designed to keep us spending.

"you can taste the bright lights honey,
but you wont get there for free.
you know who you are."

so meet graniph.
he used to be 50 bucks a piece.
now he's off the mark by 15.
an act to make peace, with the junkies.
just the junkies.
i hope it's still niche, that is.

today

2007-10-01T02:03:00.000+08:00

a decade ago, the journey, was as good as a ravelled story.
a decade later, the city remains to be looked upon as a land of iniquity.

a year ago, the players made merry over a quarter of the game being over without any unnecessary timeouts.
a year later, it was all worries and nothing else but worries and doubts. as even the lakers start to pout, "we have only 3 more quarters left to 'up' this game or we're out."

a month ago, a mother came up to me and said, "You have to help my boy, he did a 49% for algebra."
a month later, i leaked out top class info, "here's the bar. a decade ago we're on par, but i have still come thus far."

yesterday, i got my long overdue pay (and that's perhaps what makes me stay).
today, i start to worry about the fashion-ed bills i'll soon have to pay.

today, it's childrens' day.

so allow me if i may:

"rain, rain, go away,
all the children want to play."

when something means nothing

2007-09-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

every potential event is inherently unknowable. or it can be loosely said to be unavoidable. however, what i do know is, the past is definitely knowable. what we do today, ends up in the books of those who track our actions for the record. this brings me to why i tend to exercise a certain level of proclivity towards that, towards those, which had occurred. history is ongoing. history is taking place the moment this second passes for the next to come. yet history serves as a lesson for many. one historical record may be redundant, while the other becomes a comforting mantra at times of a crisis.

suddenly, it seems almost absolutely contagious across educational frontiers to revert back to the records. when the records show a figure, it instills thoughts of bringing that figure up. for that matter, it's always for the better. a rational assessment of similarities and differences tells me something is seriously wrong with the numbers. for i don't "count" myself that lucky anymore. then, i start realizing that numbers ain't the way to go, only when i start letting go. perhaps my best insinuation to this phenomenon is: "do not just do something, stand there and do nothing."

when the incoming replaces the outgoing, the tough gets going.
that's for you friends who're in the incoming. for i'm certain you already saw what's coming.
i hope it's true that redbull gives me wings.

tenacious me

2007-09-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

is it going, is it going.

tts perhaps the question of the decade. to many i'd been like a partridge. fat bird. short tail. why so? even i wonder. it has to do with the vibe. the vibe tt someone perpetually does things for a lark. or rather, someone who always ends up larking around. thoughts of the feeble-minded makes me cringe. yet feeble-mindeds behave like they can think. like they do it. i figure i'll only say this once. i beg a pardon obstinate fools. im still frisky going on the twenty-two. so cut the cock-and-bull. im the red rag to the bull. well, start learnin too, before u get treated like a frisky two. aights tts quite a fair share for today i suppose.

hope i turn out to be as mad as a hatter before the hare catches up with me. if u've been keeping up with the eu-news, i've been industrious like a beaver lately. have got one of the two herrings with me that is. alike they are indeed, as the idiom suggests (as like as two herrings). or even both on days when im 'lucky'. that's at least what some of the bulls said.

loyal apostle, kindly take of the crafty devil.

informal. sth blocks my cock. but i can't put my finger to it.

cognitive dissonance

2007-09-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

we might be in a crisis for we've been preparing for since god knows when. here's how it happens if the conventional ideas still stay rooted to our beliefs.

first of all, we project beyond where our vision takes us. paybacks serve as an incentive only to those who refuse to get smothered at the end of the cycle. for one reason or another, i've been running in the league of the believers - the ones who get smothered only when the genuine system fails to deliver. put another way, there is no rationale behind what we perceive as cyclical outcomes. probabilities get attached to results, both in the event and decision sense. but what essentially matters most takes place at the very end of the cycle. like it or not, the game ends there. no one questions why, for no one knows why either. as the game gets tight, we gon' get tighter. as the game turns light, we gon' turn lighter. the solution tends to be that we take as a point, or rather a level not to fall under. More seriously in the context of an arms race - with words or never - we are all given the choice to choose. the choice to choose from individuals, or even groups of these people. the problem is no one can explain is why these were even chosen from the beginning. as a result, we end up using a benchmark that is arbitrarily chosen for the longest time ever.

well when east meets west, this dissonance shall be rightfully put to test. that's the way it should work best. till the day then, i guess.

these deadlines, are dead-lines.

dry eyes

2007-08-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

i start to think:

age determines, age undermines.
fate intervenes, fate runs through the grapevine.
sage thinks, sage tends to shine.
whose turn is it this time?
i choose to believe it is mine.

i start to think.

never safe overdue

2007-08-19T01:03:00.000+08:00

we hardly learn things the express way. i never did. took a hard dive this time round. harder than what my feet could hold. ain't nothing but a great deal. a deal by the drug lords. turns out im the one paying my dues. high time i stop this about tilting that finger of mine to those which/who don't matter. never saw what's coming but i saw this after it came. 'sup with the hype clearing someone's shit on ya. get that portion right. the toughest part comes when you find it hard to clear the shit you've got on ya own skin.

this one's from the 3rd series of that rush hour i had earlier on: "you wanna know a secret folks? someone's gonna die tonight."

certainly sounds like it's for real. just hope it ain't me or you.

just for the record

2007-08-16T16:23:00.000+08:00

greetings, with arms wide open.

summer's gone for a brand new season. i laced one last track before i let the books in to rock the flow. a moment of recollection i call it. mid noon "fishing" followed by a feeling of total "lost". a boost, i was supposed to be, as a final surge for kids who're into the first phase of their long education career. formalities come into play, as i turn to assist the big man himself. that's for work. i ain't no dull man i hope. for here's some bit of the play. trips to that famous 85, and of course, with all due respect, may i call them - the convenient corners at the east prata region. 5 days at bangkok with cheap fags and a whole load of crap. 3 days at the country club with the rolling stones. not forgetting, that everyday of sweetums with a chick so firm.

"give me back my 4 months". i heard this somewhere. can't really remember who said that. enlighten me if this was from ya. but that struck a cord. reminiscing, is cool and healthy. well till the day that 4 months return, the pages of many more books are yet to be turned. in case you guys haven't realise, it's an arms race we're about to engage in.

morning y'all.

closer to me than i imagine

2007-08-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

mooney's been behaving weirdly. this mixed feelings of hanging between the lines gets at me. to top it off, the very idea of my possession, without his very presence makes me wonder if i know him as much as he knows me. as such, i'd been extra careful with how i deal with him. this is how it has been for me. for mooney. i twitch each time something tries to take him away from me. i cringe each time i lose count of the number of times i have been meeting up with him. mooney claims im wacked up over the tiger, skinnys, lacoste and the tees. mooney's just jealous 'cause i want them more than him. then there always is a twist. this time it happens in favour of mooney. he has been compromised since god knows when. and when we start compromising the thing we need the most. it's high time to do something about the mess it seems. mooney sticks with me. he shall be brought up mighty fine by me. well, that's if i stop giving him away for the time being.

burying the hatch-et

2007-07-19T01:42:00.000+08:00

dear fairy,

it's been more than a year since you last left. things have changed quite a bit on my side. well, things change all the time, you love to say. i guess u're right. i hope things are looking really bright for you. i reckon, that's all i can ever hope for. allow me to rant on today as you read on. for im.. bothered, for once.

before i start, let me begin with identifying the turning point: kate told sawyer something that took place long ago bothered her so much that she could never love the same way again. that's kate getting lost in Lost by the way.

of late, i've been hit with a series of events. events that send my heart throbbing the wrong way. you know how i prefer to think of such happenings. i think they're for the betterment of me as who i really am. here's a little open secret i'll like to share with u. in case you haven't noticed, since the moment u left, u took away something important from me that you can never return. in fact - honestly - i owe u a big one for doing that. i've been swimming like a fish (i choose to think so) in vain for a right explanation, a right answer. they say fishes are smart animals which i'll beg to differ. enlighten me now fairy, why am i even writing this to ya?

u know what? my best guess would be that u took away my feet. cause the last time i checked, i don't even remember putting my shoes on. and that's not exactly what i usually do. i've been swimming to get myself moving on. so then what's the matter u may ask since moving on certainly sounds damn bloody fine to ya. look, the problem is: i can't keep movin, i need to rest like other birds. i need to wake up early and catch my worms. i need use my wings to flap through the winds. i need to.. be free.

ironically, i won't ask of u to expect me to return what i owe u for my missing feet. guess u would have expected that from me. so no worries. im pretty sure i'll find them myself. it's prolly missing cause i hid them since the last time u left. im sorry, its ma bad for this repeated grave mistake. the truth is, it has always been "since the last time I left" and not u. just for the record - with all due respect fairy - i never "left".

there has to be a nest that draws my feet, don't u think so?

regards,
pen-guin

i'm blind fine

2007-07-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

a tiger don't change its stripes.

in my memory, i have been paradoxically ambivalent about the collective loss of time. my time. is it fair to share that which is rightfully mine? formally not. the answer may lie in the way that a growing movement of fervent admirers uses company as a personal belief towards being appreciated by someone else. in other words, the best stays alone, but yet is never alone.

if the hearts of loners are anything to go by, my name is what i wish lurks up at the forefront of many minds. for months, it's a long con i've been bracing myself up for. i have been pulling this off well i should believe. as such, i even got myself conned. put bluntly, i've been deceiving myself. i was never cut out for this long con.

one of the blessings, or curses, of being given a choice to allocate our time is the opportunity to express our thoughts and feelings through the choices we make. the loaded question raised on an eternal loop in the psychological field is this: are you lying to yourself? judging by the netizen response, the answer will always be a yes. for more than half the time, that's always true isn't it? we lie to ourselves. that's our heroin. period. perhaps it's high time we quit answering that question. i'm done lying. the blind truth is, no one is ever a true utilitarian.

time and tide waits for no man. but time can be suspended, to allow generations to be bridged in a past that lives on into the present and beyond. when things go awry, and they will, it takes time to clear our minds before we pass them on to those around us. and that happens to be the only thing we lack. time. the nexus of conflict between being 'alone' and 'accompanied' will continue to dog us. or me, for that matter. much has already been lost. how much is subjective, not objective, and history will be the judge.

there is still time. there always is, to make a choice.

MGMT 101: Cheque-list Derivation

2007-07-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

formalities with the elderlies.. checked.
tactical marine maneuver.. checked.
moolahs on the fags.. checked.
books.. checked.
posse.. checked.
studs.. checked.
fats.. checked.
.. checked.

every once in a while, we do a self check. that's how we do our thing, unknowingly.
every once in a while, this check turns out different from the time we last check.
yet every once in a while, someone gets on without checks.
here's way of viewing checks - boxes.
some boxes made to be ticked instantly, while some made empty till a miracle happens before it gets taken up.
the humble stay proud of their good ticks, the hopefuls try hard to make it fit.
remember those days where we shade our options on a sheet of paper with circles?
i thought those were the days where nothing comes close to being as clear as the choice to be dark, the choice to be shaded.
we start to notice our brightest moments coming from our darkest moments.
it's through all the shady checks that will never fully tick that most complete our checklist.
a realm of total discomfort that brings us higher i will put it.
so on top of all these that has been said, if you're still thinking milky way ain't gonna turn into murky way..
think again ma friend.

this is the day

2007-07-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

this one is meant to be a reminder, for all that has been done, will always be remembered.

most of us pride ourselves as individuals who get things planned out, making sure everything is made to work. i, for that matter, belong to this group of people. few things go off unexpected ways for me, those days.

frankly and slowly (though), i'd been convinced that such a utopia would be unlivable.

the result of my tunnel vision as a supremely task-oriented planner, failing to foresee side-effects of my ideas; the ingenuity of me, as an average Joe who tries to find a way to circumvent the rules and regulations of the game; led to situations where primary principles are met, but yet secondary consequences roll in. it was never my game, was it?

we all deserve a second chance they say. that's what i asked for but hey, till then let's see..

i wish i could do it like the foreign Iraqis, as they disappear in the ubiquity of Iraqi habits, dialect, slang, and dress that is prevalent in their very own country.

let's play while there's still clay.

im a convict

2007-06-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

a tricky part to every sequence - repetition.
dude steps in and goes, "eh yo, u got a fake ID ma man?"
juvenile draws gun and goes "chic' chic' bang".
now that's one sequence for ya.
i ain't got no big guns, but at least i got the sequence right.
i mean c'mon, the dikes, too have their rights.
another dude comes in and does the same shit all over again.
imma do the same damn thang all over again and blow his head up.
that's what we do, self defence.
well not too long before the tricky part kicks in though.
the sequence takes its toll after a few runs.

i'd been on the run since the first check on ma ID.
just for the record, im still on the run.
ma best partner claims, "we're birds with no feet bro, gotta keep flying till the nest finds us."
i thought that was a new one.
let me just try to repeat that sequence once more time for ya.
it goes, "chip chip bang" this time round.

the world that we're living in

2007-06-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

the more you try to change something, the more it stays the same.

i learned it the hard way. well we all do, once in a while.

fishy as it may sound, but the failure to coin our actions suited to the word "solidarity" and subsequently behaving to its exact meaning gets somewhat disturbing these days. here's the irony though, we eventually do exercise it with consummate skill. yet, it seems totally antagonising to exert ourselves to a point beyond where nature takes us.

moving on to that peace in our minds, a mood of change within will hobble the situation, almost definitely. as it is now, im getting on mighty fine with the daily dose of intelligencer. that should tell you how i'd been spending my time.

every once in a while, i get a rare opportunity to take a peek at the sophisticated components of the daily financial papers. i was forced to predict a crisis coming up alongside the recent trends of focus allocation. upon second thought, i concluded that the potential of its occurrence seems almost inevitable. we have the chinese turning towards world peace as though they've made enemies following their respectable position gain in the global markets. if you still figure it ain't that big a deal by now, try searching for the tag line "made in china", you'll get what i mean. seems to me these people know their shit. a chinese leader commented not too long ago that the soviets made weapons that were as powerful as any in the west. they just invested too much into military technology at the expense of general technology and the civilian economy. try assigning your kids with the best brains with the best physique to the most unproductive sector of the economy and you'll know where you end up.

this brought some light to how we usually allocated our time and resources. we only get one shot these days, believe it or not. if you'd been keeping with the headlines, the dude who won us the first gold medal via archery in the recent games, one shot. bush with his "war on terror", one shot. blair (b-liar) with his criticisms-turned-compliments, one shot. we have to put that best foot forward, almost all the time. you never know when the time is up, to take that shot.

article of the day: "finance: the must-have degree". a calling to the allocation of resources on my part i suppose.

let's see, where do i start?

i had a dream too

2007-06-18T00:21:00.001+08:00

well this is how it goes. since the beginning of our time, the scientific approach to life is not really appropriate to states of visceral anguish. the three dimensional has turned two dimensional. that's the world as it is, in my dreams.

those days where one momentous decree serves as a beacon of light to many is over. the seven wonders of the world have long made individual impact on where the big bucks head. its a dust-free world with some rusty nations. the dust has settled with a plan for the last. here's the cast: i have 7 students in one class, each of a different class. addressing problems was never a problem until i had a little problem getting on with the fractions and proportions.

notoriously known for the notorious reasons ain't the way to go in the past. yet there were the selected few who took on that path. i wish i had my hands on more of those problems. that should have saved me some of mine with better dreams each night.

i'm getting attached to the problem - now that's the problem.

A Job

2007-06-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

some post-mortem's been done to explain the death of education.

kids these days, i notice, prefer to guide educators towards a point of total irrelevance. it seems to me they enjoy revolving about that point and soon after, a big laugh. if you'd been in this business, you'd have realized by now, the strain kicks in when it gets really normal to make do with a long big laugh.

keeping that in mind, i decided to formulate my own set of questions for the kids. little did i realize, i formulated a plan to guide them to their doom. the thing is, it's always difficult to draw the line between the strong and the weak. the strong tend to under-exercise humility while the weak tend to over-exercise the lack of confidence. that marks the beginning of an end, for the educators. lets see.. only for the moolahs, i suppose.

i ain't ready to give up my life for the next just yet.

we on a roll

2007-06-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

i like the way people repeat something that has been told.
i like the way people wrong me like i'm a foe.
i like the way people judge me from head to toe.
i like the way people hit me with a no.
i like the way people slam the way i earn my dough.
i like the way people tap their horns in a volvo.
i like the way people decide their fate on a poll.
i like the way death and taxes take its toll.

tell me something i don't already know.

Cupids Chokehold: Do Expect No Issues Still Eh?

2007-05-29T15:50:00.000+08:00

She's got a smile that would make the most senile annoying old man bite his tongue
I'm not done
She's got eyes comparable to sunrise and it doesn't stop there
Man i swear
She's got porcelain skin of course she's a 10 and now she's even got her own song
But movin' on
She's got the cutest laugh i ever heard and we can be on the phone for three hours
Not sayin' one word
And i would still cherish every moment
And when i start to build my future she's the main component
Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it but
Everywhere i go i keep her picture in my wallet like you

Defying Technology

2007-05-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

A told-you-so moment, as we finally arrive at the apogee of the nanny paradigm.

Guidance has been a poisoned fang of the state. The consortium of monitoring that is supposed to instill discipline to our young has got tricky because the technological rationale is hazy. The fine line between spending more time on the frivolous aspects of electronic gadgetary and being adept with technology as a virtue, sets forth a deliriously controversial issue as to the extent we can push nurturing our young in school on this aspect. Technology is a productivity aide and not a substitute for traditional pedagogy. Lets find some kind of recourse and defence against the current technology already in existence, before we get overwhelmed by the bells and whistles. Anyone who complains about game consoles will have the snot beaten out of them, or so i hear them say. Truly, as volte faces go, this has to be one of the most volte we have ever faced and, offhand, I can think of only one possible defence: Let the innocuous remain innocuous. Cut our youth some slack.

We tend to be victims of our own propaganda, or so eu thinks so. Anyone wants to take any bet on this?

Will Turner

2007-05-25T01:10:00.001+08:00

The fine line drawn between making a mistake and not making one is that of knowledge. I do (know) most of the time when 'it's ma bad'. An irony from the fact of being senile at birth, I suppose. On a lighter note - that's if you deem it heavy in the first place - the very existence of human nature opens us up to a new realm of occult (may I put it this way) called sharing.

It's never wrong to get people knowing about the shit you've stirred.
It's just a matter of time karma police catches up with you.
I never had to go on that run.
I make myself heard.
That's a flaw these days, I notice.
A hidden one that's never once too far from the surface.
The paths of Knowing and Sharing have long been fixed to cross.
In a foreign and awkward manner.
First words, turn out to be last words.
Audible and clear, anything but encouraging.
The more we try to change something, the more it stays the same.
There's a captain to the Flying Dutchman.
Like there's a owner to every bomb.
Drop it on the responsible before it goes off on the innocent.
Sharing is no longer for the strong, but for the weak.

Imma set sail to make the run.
I'll turn myself in when I'm done.
Once again, the immaterial has become, the immaterial.

Stringing the Tightrope

2007-05-24T16:33:00.000+08:00

Most recently, as issues start to reverberate in the headlines of the local papers, it seems almost definite that the need to explain has turned to be a positive duty.

Regurgitating the information I've tried to keep in mind, there's been a public outcry regarding the unexpected early exit of some foreign university. This uproar has kept the desultory media attention up close on us for once. I'm just wondering, in the Asian context, if you can't keep one here, where else can you possibly do it?

It's not like we have a state known to rake in our own cuts of profits - via tax and pay hikes.
It's not like we don't welcome future candidates for the Silicon Valley with open arms - with more than an iota of discrimination.
It's not like we don't recognize a social imperative to the rest of the world - with internal charitable scandals.
It's not like we have an issue with decriminalizing of controversial laws - since god knows when.

It's not like, it's no wonder.

The heart of the matter has been identified by the decision-makers as the lower-than-anticipated enrollments, which make operation unsustainable. Well, outta the 710 applicants, only 150 has been taken in. Mixed signals are being sent, I suppose. Such a figure reminds me badly of another comparable institution though.

I hope this dysfunctional battle between the students, university and the media, does not take place in this institution I'm reminded of. Nobody wants to get hurt this summer just yet.

Blithely Accepted Rationales

2007-05-22T17:56:00.000+08:00

I was reluctant to comment on secularistic issues since the preemptive strikes spearheaded by the premier force had taken place some four years back. With the recent political upheaval in various countries, religion has once again fallen victim to, and turns out to be the last refuge of, the scoundrel. That struck a chord.

Endorsement of war by evangelicals is no longer of similar effect. In fact, the scriptures suggest thou shalt not kill, thou shalt instead lay down my life for others. A pragmatic approach to look at this conflict would be that the problem surges to the fore when people start taking bad implementations to be the divine dogma. It's a pity pacifism doesn't prevent war or terminate violence. If not, these people could have been the heroes of tomorrow. Till pacifism triumphs one day, I shall keep my fingers crossed that continued foreign occupation does not exacerbate Iraq's already problematic state.

I was just as reluctant to comment on the cruelty of meritocracy in our country as I was in a pretty bad position to do so. As such, I'd fallen prey to the academic system since the beginning of August last year. This predator had long sown deep into our collective psyche. We had always known of it to be a source of collective pride. And to fight it was known to be shocking initially, before finally giving way to collective shame. It all began since the time when the system was for elites to go through a series of rigorous tests, before officially taking on high posts in the legislative world. Obviously, there is a dark subterraneous stream that runs parallel to this shining path. Parents, particularly the poor, slogged their ass off, just to send that bloke in for the shot at the imperial court. More often than not, only the elite few made it for the final spot, leaving the remaining once hopeful with dreaded feelings of lost and despair.

Since we're already at it, let's talk about what eventually happens to the bulk who have been considered to break the sacred oath by failing to make the mark. Reeking of dishonour and shame, some went into exile, some committed suicide while some experience mental unstableness. In line with this, we face the exact same situation till today. If it isn't the same, the situation has certainly intensified. Viewing the world through a single pedagogic lens, we are how we do in school, period. I posed a question to a random friend the other day regarding the potential in the course we pursue. It seemed to me he needed to do a red herring. He claimed he'd be better somewhere else. He didn't have a choice on being where he wanted to be. With that, he looked away, wistfully. That's perhaps the irony and my worry.

A far more muted if typical tragedy is bound to take place soon.

"Striving" ain't no mere idiomatic expression for the hopefuls no more.

The Four-Letter Word

2007-05-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

Not too long ago, we were forced to accept the tragic fate of our fellow countryman who - in his quest for qualification to be able to educate the nation - died in what was called a freak accident. As we anticipated a response or perhaps a quick comment by the local state government to address the issue of falling trees in our neighboring country, we received an eerie answer instead by a similar incident which took place in our very own nature park. At that point, I was convinced that such dangers were never too far under the surface.

A week later, yesterday, another local father gave up on his mountain hike and subsequently his life when yet another tree fell on the tent he was resting in. This coincidence seems like a calling to the selected few. Can you already hear the alarm bells ringing? For those who require clarification, yes, trees do fall without chopping, or natural striking to take them down. Now, how’s that to begin a queer imagination on the vulnerability of life. If I were caught under a tree as an angry young man, I might think I should have been a suicide bomber. But if I were pragmatic, I’d say, take half-loaf and make the best of it.

I watched Juan Carlos Fresnadillo’s film, 28 Weeks Later, recently. The idealistic goal in the show was to rebuild a country from scratch, by pushing the British back to the virus-annihilated British Isle. No prizes for guessing, but you probably got that right. It was the “US Army’s” goal. When you’ve got your hands on everything, those hands had better be clean. Blood was shed in the manner of one, followed by two, then four and sixteen, so on and so forth. The law of multiplication can be seen clearly via exponential wealth in businesses these days. However, I doubt we should lose focus on how plagues might hit us hard and good one day.

As for one that’s close to my heart and perhaps to some of yours as well, I was given the classical finger as I was the man on the wheel, responsible for almost running down a father with a kid in his arms. Aights, no forgiveness required, but here’s when I say, it’s my bad.

Live well folks. It’s just that once we’re talking about here.

I figure, it's a World Wide Web

2007-05-18T13:58:00.001+08:00

I have never understood how the government bodies worldwide arrive at figures.

Over at China, this top woman, on account of strong political pedigree and connections, still decides to retire, leaving a vacuum that no female official is likely to fill. With women gaining ground at both the higher and lower reaches of politics, I won't be surprise if they'll pick a woman minister "just to demonstrate that women have a place in politics". Let's just be realistic, it has happened somewhere. Political figures: The proportion of female officials has increased by more than 17 percentage points.

After one that is technically accurate but misleading, we have this omnipresent war going on between countries - the war for young talents. It is reported that Japan might soon lag behind its neighbors economically as its students prefer studying in the local institutions. What's with going abroad nowadays? It's the idea of survival I suppose. Just glad we're recognized as one, abroad that is. Int'l figures: US govt International Information Programme ranking, 1st India, 2nd China, 3rd South Korea, 4th Japan.

For a country still reeling from bloody political riots, more suicide attacks continue to deepen sense of instability in Pakistan. I hope they stop terrorizing soon, for the peaceful ain't afraid, they just thought it's wrong and childish to engage in such senseless rampage. Sad figures: Suicide attacker set off bomb which ripped through a crowded hotel restaurant killing at least 24 people and wounding 25.

It has somehow occurred to me that how they derived these figures ain't that important after all. The message hidden in these figures is clear and precise, someone out there needs your thoughts and help to get 'em through. You just have to make yourself heard.

By the way, they've finally decided to do something about the Taj Mahal. I hope they succeed in their restoration of the building's alabaster facade.

2007-05-17T14:59:00.000+08:00

routine, random, stop at the streets of our thai neighbors

an enigmatic presence

2007-05-15T16:50:00.000+08:00

it has long struck me as not a little too convenient that everyone has been overly skeptical about our neighbors. that the foreign skepticism is rife in many (truly) asian countries is true, but skepticism comes in different shades, but as far as the specific issue of discrimination is concerned, it doesn't necessarily mean that when people are skeptical, they are highly in favor of discrimination.

or, for that matter, im against that ideology. one has to learn from experience, i suppose. the relatively modern tweak - i would call it - to this archaic concept is that of communication: communication is a very different kettle of fish from discrimination. the latter is somewhat political, and related to a quest for ideological domination in a way the former is not. a simple experience will put the matter into context.

on one occasion, i had to get from one location back to the hotel on a foreign land. somewhat astonishingly, i was brought to a deep dark lane along with 3 other accomplices on board, a far expectation from the usual ride back to safety. the last, but certainly not least, legendary wonder of this royal kingdom crossed our minds far too early before the finale came near, thanks to contributory misinterpreted precautions from a friend on board. thoughts of an escape via a damaging leap seem inevitable (literally), before it turned to appear necessary. i shit u not on this. there was one hand on the vehicle door, and the other on getting the no longer safe belt off my chest. before giving the final cue for the jump, i decided i'd bet my last dollar on the fact that the man might just be as lost as we were. i spoke, in a universal yet foreign language, to check again.

but of course, the twist of fate took place to ease some tension. albeit not as lost as we were, the man was lost. we lost more than a dollar on that ride though, we lost our cool. pardon me folks, for the drama, it was indeed quite a trauma.

the key of the ride was with speaking, or simply put it this way, the transferrence of thoughts. likewise for discrimination. rather than let it be the culpable activity that objectifies and dehumanises the Other, it may in fact be no more than a catalyst that brings primal fears of subjugation to the fore. let communication be the key towards eliminating the thought of power differentials. for one fateful day, we might be the one ignored in the plight of being on the altar of expediency (again).

no thai-girls, or even tigers, for a certain special matter, by that special someone. but an euphemistic term for a good 5-day trip would be "awe-some".

A famous phase

2007-05-08T17:30:00.000+08:00

Every day, I ask myself, "How do people get famous? What do they give up in order to gain substantial amount of attention?"

There are indeed many ways to get famous. Viewers and listeners can either like or hate you. To get the best end of the deal, some get both. Of late, I noticed a controversial yet popular method surfacing. Here's my two cents worth.

I received an instant message last night. The conversation went like this:

yc: hey bro, check tis out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wk51lfLfIQ
eu: 'sup dude, what's it about?
yc: politicks. it's fucking funny.
eu: who shot the sheriff this time?
yc: dick lee at ol' sheriff lee.
eu: aights it better be worth my time. i'll get back to u after viewing.
yc: cheers.

Well somehow, I didn't find the time to get back to him.

According to my friend, the video was "fucking funny". Let's just say, I'd put it this way; I beg to differ. If you have a black sense of humour, you will laugh. The person featured could have certainly done a lot better doing something else somewhere else. After much thought, I figured it had to do with the nature of the market concerned. With increasingly more people thinking they'd found this peculiar niche in the area of public criticism, the famous good guys are naturally becoming the infamous dart-boards. You see, everyone's trying their luck at these people. An act to mark thepotent symbol of rebellion. Albeit a far cry from what used to start revolutions decades ago, they made themselves heard. The trick - however ironic - here is, the greater the difference in thoughts, the more you "connected" you are with the crowd. That's perhaps the only thing that appeals to me - a stimulus to the diversification of thoughts. Somewhat amazingly, Dick made a decision that he should take a dick at his fellow counterpart, Lee - only that this Lee existed a generation earlier. Still, I'd give him a 6/10 on his bold attempt since this man might just be a late bloomer.

I got a funny feeling there's more to it than just becoming famous. Perhaps my horticultural roots get at me sometimes. Cut that ol' man some slack. He's more than just propaganda.

After all, according to Dick, it ain't about ME anymore, it's about.. YOU.

Who gave the promise away?

2007-05-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

As promised, the pigeon delivered the verdict right to the doorsteps of these people:-

The forthcoming debate on the Penal Code reform sends loud calls for an answer more concrete than what the oracle from St James had put forward - or what was considered a put off - a week back. Some say decriminalisation of such acts would be an error whilst this small 'others' share how heterosexual partners should be given a chance to balance out the spreading of 'love'. An aggressive homosexual rights agenda has taken the dictation of law reforms by storm. To add on to that, the uniquely Singapore notion has been put to test. Has it been used to justify too many liberal, authoritarian measures? Can we live up with other large cities in advanced countries which can get by without all sorts of gag laws in the name of multiracial and multi-religious harmony? Well, as promised by the oracle, the decision would come to light 'soon'. I'm more towards the side that the decision will be inclined towards the benefit of the image of our democratic nation.

As promised, someone is going to jail. Public portrayal of her image as one with intelligence way below average has been - on the contrary - a hit. I used to think it was either the heir or the hair. But soon that leaves me dumbfounded, as I tried to hide from the fact that she made smart moves to rake in the bucks the not-smart style. Aights, here's the catch. That was the furthest I went with regard to my folly. Now, here's her folly, more than just a moment for that matter. She tried to hit the road while on probation in wheels and not the usual heels. That's that, and that's bad. A small advice to y'all. Never find Route 66 when you could see an additional 6. For that's the exact sign you should take, it's 666 down to the gallows. Better luck at Paris, aights.

As promised, my team stopped the self-proclaimed best team from clinching the title. Give 'em some time, they'd be more than just stoppers.

As promised, I've decided to spend some time thinking to whom I've made a promise.

As promised, I'll try and get out of this senile state I'm in.

Till then, I can't, promise.

Come What May

2007-05-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

If you'd read the papers last month you'd have notice what'd been the hit, or rather, talk of the town - An act of voluntarily causing grievous hurt to another.

For some years since I started gaining the bulk of my mass, I have been affected by how rapidly we resort to violence in what we set out as, an attempt to make peace. After-school fights are common, club showdowns are the norm, and recently, to add on to the record, road rage gives road commuters a fair share of the headlines. Nevertheless, this ain't the concern, I deduce. The problematic word I deciphered here is "staring", if you share my feel. You needn't be near a bar, club or road to get beaten to pulp. You simply need some bad luck in your way and a considerable 'look' at the wrong person to get what I thought you don't deserve fully. "Staring" incidents - albeit involving an animalistic instinct - a marker of immaturity, can escalate into intense battles within minutes.

Here's the factual part. Social rank can be established over another via the usage of eyes by one party. And here's the cruel part. Only one party gets to win in this establishment, for the first to take his eyes off the other concedes. In an era where "cheap" thrills, social presence and self-esteem matter most to the - reportedly - less educated young men, the mistake of getting into a fight has escalated acutely. The realm of territorical protection further brings the perplexity and room for causation exploration of this matter to a whole new level. Self-control goes out of hand as we try hard to exercise it externally, and territorically in this case.

That being said, it's arguably a stage we all go through. Isn't that just the teenage angst, accompanied by the battle scars? Maybe. Someone once asked me if we were outta that stage. I smiled to him and said, "Be glad to know we're on top of the game."

We're increasingly stressed out these days; the grades, the work and the dough. Or at least it is for me. But I doubt I'd put the same blame on what comes May. This small space that we are entitled on this land we step on, is bound to be congested. Furthermore, violence produces victims, almost by definition.

No one wants to end up as the latter letter V.

reasonable man test

2007-04-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

these days, i'd been very much disturbed, and to a certain extent perturbed with the foreseeabilities of life - my life. it can get really messed up when i start thinking about what would become of me in ten years time. i used to think- or rather dream - i might just make it to be a cop. as such, i'd be able to nab the law-breakers and throw them into the gallows. let me fill u in for that childhood dream. as of now, i'd be contented to stay on the right side of law. funny how things turn out. funny how i find myself so detached from that childhood dream. funny how i ended up in this pursuit towards something less political and perhaps abstract than the dispute between government and opposition parties.

i had a conversation with a friend today. it was about how rich dads thought when they were our age. of course, i moved on to thinking about how poor dads thought when they were our age - without getting this friend involved in that thought.

somebody has to come to me with the answer soon. it is always safer to know if i'm thinking on the right track. hope my self answering machine goes on an overdrive for now.

peace brothers and sisters.

a message to santa

2007-04-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

hello santa,

your secretary forwarded me your email.

who's your new friend i heard about? in any case, please say hello to her for me. sorry for not writing to you in so long. the snail you gave me last xmas screwed up. i'd been hangin between the lines. can feel you smile as i say this. remember those attempts you made to make me see how things were never black and white? i got it - somehow. i've been keepin' in touch with the shimmering shades of grey, there’s something poignantly beautiful about it. despite few lucrative deals turning up after you left, i stood still against becomin' an anti-business greenie. i hear silence when i realised you were right. silence again, when i realised i was wrong. and more silence when i see many others making the same mistake. no worries santa, all your efforts haven't been in vain, futile hopes shall never follow me to my grave.

oh yes, there ain't no surrendering away from our own dignity, that's right too.

best wishes.

Truth and Acceptance

2007-04-21T13:21:00.000+08:00

of late i'd been reminded of truths that wrecked my nerves and strained those brain cells i'd been searchin' for deeply since the study term/break started. some truths were never meant to be trotted out, but yet the soundness of these revelations left me stranded as the "soundness" of the summer kicked in. An unexpected turn up did serve me well, albeit uninvited, it unfolded actuality and reality at a whole new level based on its very mode of arrival. Ever had someone call your bluff/joke/idea before you could do it yourself? That's when you start learnin' to let your thoughts, and of course action, bring you somewhere before someone else's does. That was sorta random, but it proved one point - it was high time to begin the journey of Acceptance.

An Acceptance to an offer - lawfully - leads to a binding agreement between two parties when sufficient consideration were in place and the desired intention to create legal relationship clearly existed. Aights, that's the furthest i'd go into on that line. An Acceptance of things as it is and evolvin' with it - as though Darwin's there to guide you through -, shows adaptibility. An Acceptance of tasks and subsequent dutiful performance shows sequential procedures. And an Acceptance of yourself, shows respect; shows a canonical pattern of life.

Question on, a statement of thought: "Never was i born to be put through these, for no one taught me how i could"? Listen, no one taught/thought the Wrights to/could fly that plane. But they did it as though they had to. That should mean a little now.

There was a way out, there had to be. I, was the way out.
Good afternoon folks.

this ain't a scene, this pain's a sin

2007-04-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

"never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today"
- Benjamin Franklin

this ride lasted for 5 days long, more is needed than being strong.
adrenaline rushes in the speed of light, bringin more than just a fright.
the ride swirls and twirls, like how that coldwind whirls.
she got me once, she got me twice, yet it feels apparently nice.
i wish she comes for me every now and then, albeit the ride's gonna come to an end.
get me through this ride, if u think i tried.
i been a good boy, if this is just her kinda ploy.

summer falls, and i can still hear her call.
that's good franks and pauls, it's time to play some ball.

stage-d

2007-04-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

just for the record. tho' they ain't those i'd live to say, "i forgot." to make these really short. i learnt somethings which triggered my thoughts.

first, on the usage of a "twist of fate". it unveils the very idea of a surprise in the nick of time. it can be suspenseful from the beginning or it can be clear for everyone to see. yet there is this one point that brings the light at the end of the tunnel right at your face. some get intrigued by it, some get bewildered, while some took the option of fear. see how it works now, it leaves you with something to think about. if impression counts, this is something you'll love to think about. well, to put that usage to the application of fresh ideas, i took my fair stand. the user, will always know what is about to come. that is, he began with the end in mind, period. that's what i call, the power of control. it doesn't matter when, it just matters how. instill the twist, and what you did, will be remembered.
next, on stage. this game call life happens to appear on one of those which is a raised platform on which theatrical performances are presented. when you have too much of the power of control, you appear to have staged things up. that's when no credit is given for being too good an actor. when you appear to have too little of that power for that matter, you appear to have what they call "stage fright". here's the bottomline, take either ends and it backfires on you. it's tough i understand, how it's like to make ur crew and the viewer like you at the same time. that's how the game is played. for the only viewer, it is you.

Holla if you hear my call

2007-03-22T19:22:00.000+08:00

it's march - the march goes on as such.
that rings a bell - 2 years of hell, began on that ground.
it's the time of the term based on academic fix - the end to be specific.
but before that, it gives u one last stretch - trust me on that, it's not our bad, it's quite a stretch. so hold on tight you undergrads.

what's done cannot be undone. so holla if u sense the pun. aights, tts just for fun.
here's the bulk of the meat of the bun:

EU started on a bad note. nothing to do with the notes. just one or rather two bad notes. but guess what folks, continue to probe, i'll still try hard to smoke and get u doped, for these bad notes, are all over the globe. i ain't a pope, to change the globe.
EU retook some sheets of shit, which eu can't ditch. analytical preach, somehow ain't that cheap. hang on tight u "B" peeps. there'd be stage where u'd bitch, AS's sucha dick, it's at the end when i start to pick, the answers to those sheets of shit.
EU got bombed. that comms bomb, went 11 weeks long, before the final bomb - where u stood alone in that dorm, of prof tom - turned u just that little fond. peace to ya'all next in line for that frontline dorm, it's ur turn to sing tt song. some takeaway from comms; it can be a norm, if u get fond, of that frontline dorm.
EU hit 22, on that fateful stool. good job fools, it's a lovely tool - a cake with a missing tooth, is what i call a groove of a spoof. for that spoof u pulled, i'm smiling this instance as i groove.
EU brought about a change. a chain of changes. from the drain to the grains for some fame.
EU prays, for the day, when the stars start to say, "there'll be this day, when nerves don't frey. and the sky's not grey."
EU psyched and tried. it's the hike. that i dike. not the finishing line with my bike. aights, i mean my 4-wheeled bike.

as the first summer falls. the hope for that group playing that same ball, singing that same tune down the hall, still stands tall.
night's y'all.

negligence

2007-03-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

the concept of excess allowance on one rule leading to an advantageous take by us - people, that is - leaves me bewildered but pervious. my bearings, of that mixed feelings, was rekindled, following some teachings.

negligence was great, till the arrival of the flood gates.
this i mention, has an explanation, as flood of litigations, they're bound to stifle expansion, of the nation.

we live each day, for that day, that big pay, to come our way. we stay at the comfort of that big pay and make use of it each day. we take advantage of it to a point it becomes weird and faulty. that's confusing i agree. but that's also when we start calling it defeating the purpose. but here's what we gotta feel, it's just what we do by nature at our free will - we overkill.

the day you start eating those gummies you really love everyday was the day you failed to realise how fats can take its toll on you one day. it's been proven what you eat will get back at you and that's when you break even. horizontal expansion does exist, for i was an obese. try that on animals - maybe a dog, like a friend i had - it works the same way, we're all mammals.

this world continues to shrink and pushes people to the brink of things.technology brings us much more nearer to the brim. there ain't no time for regrets it seems. somebody out there can sense it even if it's just an inch you flinched. now that's the game we're in.

there ain't no time for faults. despite what we're taught.
an additional requirement and here's a professional term: experience from every fault i figure, should be at full gear. that's one thing i'd love to hold dear.

good things find you, when you've paid your dues. just a little about eu, for a lesson or two. times i failed eu, this 22, leaves me with heaps of clues.
they messed with my mind, but they're all mine.
here i proudly say, in my memory some stay, while some turn grey. a stronger mind is what you get at the end of the day.

i pray for this fame, to claim: i'm not the man, the world can maime.

however i still - overkill.

common stance

2007-03-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

i met a friend on the train today. not a special one. but coincidences are of a certain sentimental value to me. no superstitions attached to that line. just the way at which things work, makes me question why. why did such an event take place holdin the factors; time and venue.

and then as though that wasn't intriguing enough. i met a friend in the lift. felt like i had to be the one to strike up. or so i did. then selfishness questions me. why. why are you always the one. then confidence convinces me. no worries. cause you had to be the one. i think the world works the same way alongside this so-called theory. somebody. everyone somewhat knows that somebody. who can make it work. nobody spells it out. to a point it's unbelievable. similar to that of common sense.

i can get into it and come out alive. i'm into the game cause i'd love to believe i have something that got me in. i wish i can stay in the game. and play it well thereafter. the 'we can do this and we can do that in future' gets at me periodically. some strength, some faith. is all i can expect.

he's more than who eu thinks he is

2007-03-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

just a riddle to remind myself.

he's my constant companion. he's my greatest helper or heaviest burden. he'll push me onward or drag me down to failure. he's completely at my command. half the things he does i might just as well turn over to him and he will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

he's easily managed - i must merely be firm with him. show him exactly how i want something done and after a few lessons he will do it automatically. he is the servant of all great individuals and alas, of all failures, as well. those who're great, he has made great. those who are failures, he has made failures.

he is not a machine, though he works with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. i may run him for a profit or run him for ruin - it makes no difference to him.

take him, train him, be firm with him, and he will place the world at my feet. be easy with him and he'll destroy me.

i'll remember who he is.

the soil on my face

2007-03-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

the ground shook a little today. i didn't get my share of that. seems like a calling to me. things are changing. could be good or bad for that matter.

i start to think there exist loads of sidekicks which get at u hard when u deliberately give 'em a miss. missing ain't the way to go. something more is going on in there.

yesterday, i start to look at solidarity on a whole new different level. they call it experience. to learn without it. is ineffectual. we can't cheat on this aspect. get on with it and u can say u've played with it. i like it. gives me the vibe im getting somewhere i want to go. fast-forwards give me a helping hand. that's only when the destination is clear for me. good bye to murky times.

here's one i extracted from recluse to one close: take my hand, we're off to never never land.

now, that's the plan.

Runnin' through some Grapevine

2007-02-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

"Complex minds, set off to think of lines, which undermine, sapheads with a simple mind." - eu (yeah, that's my line)

Complexity is subjective. Similar to that of change - the more you try to change something, the more it stays the same. But yet complexity is productive. It triggers your mind to think beyond what it initially defined. The saying goes, the only way to define your limits is by going beyond them. Definitions are scary. I never liked 'em because it is difficult to define. Not that I dislike things with a tricky basis. But defining is specific, and it gives me the vibe that if I break outta this specific definition region, something bad is gonna happen. Just a bad omen. Yep, I'd rather defy than to define, period. One of men's greatest fear: When a girl you like walks up to you and start asking you to 'define' love. Love is what i'd classify under the complex category. I'm not a good lover. Never was. I never did well enough to qualify as good. But I won't change it. The more you try to change the way you love, the more it stays the same. Ironically, love has no limits. Cliche men of the modern times would certainly be more than glad to pull off this line, "Hey look girl, my love for you transcends all boundries.." That's it. That is a measure made by men to go beyond their limits in order to 'define' themselves to someone they think they really love. Only then, men will tell themselves, "Check this out, I 'defined' love." See what men love to do. They love complexity. So who are they trying to undermine? I wish the answer is mine, so I can give sapheads a couple of lines. Well but I say.. MINE :)

i fell to a 9.15 nail

2007-02-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

A choice between the hammer and the doll,
to drive this nail into the wall.
a doll is what eu find in shopping malls,
not in a land where roots are null.
this is my land, where hardship falls.
by the way, all,
the nail was 9.15 centimetres tall.
here's how i start to roll the ball...
i came up with a plan to make things right.
to bring things as tight as they might.
yah right, yah right.
eu, you psyched. but u lost this fight.
fate's sucha stud. as such, it gives a loud thud.
that loud thud - signifies it's hard - gets at my gut.
or so eu say fate tries to diss eu?
nah, the right way dude, to pay your dues:
eu better start learnin your lesson in a god damn full,
for there aint no glue, that strong for a fool like eu.
to get your ass stuck on one golden stool.

so what got eu so confuse?
luck eu use, it totally fused.
and so trust issues, goes far beyond just tissues.
breach of it - white lies albeit -
still makes that greedy guilt eat.
my meat, aint thick.
so a lick is all that guilt will meet.
so here i am to test my feet.
a creed i bear so to be freed.

fetch me the ticket, outta this lake.
for all it takes, is a move so great.
is this one, that i can make?
conscience i page.
fetch me the gauge.
dues have been paid, with so much rage.
i can end this on both legs.
even if it has to be fake,
imma be the fuckin' mage.
here's my favourite: next - great - take, make - fate - mate.

A Closer Look At My TIME

2007-02-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

TIME is a non-spatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.
Yes, that's right. Irreversible.
Ever had a moment when TIME went by and you said that was the TIME I had my lullaby before bedTIME.
TIME, literally flies. And once is what you get for one thing to come by.
So when you land yourself in a position, can you really put it this way.
"Don't worry Mike, TIME will change everything"?
But TIME is a number, as of years, days, or minutes, representing such an interval.
An interval indeed, what TIME really is, makes you really wonder.
Is it in a span of years, marked by 'similar' events, conditions, or phenomena which then causes you to use TIME so simple but yet plural?
Tough TIMEs, troubled TIMEs. They come in plurals.
Ahhh yes and not forgetting the good and happy TIMEs.
When i say plural i meant a grammatical form that designates more than one of the things specified.
Life ain't perfect after all. Plural stands for:
A grammatical number category referring to 2 or more units.
I miss the TIME I worry about my 2 front teeth.
Though that is the TIME I'd been through shit.

Aint gonna stop at the Pit

2007-02-04T02:19:00.000+08:00

nice track she has laced indeed.
thanks for the things she did.
she's still so fine this moment i speak.

Any Wool for the Sofa?

2007-01-27T01:47:00.000+08:00

The sheep goes baaa..
Friends go huhhh..
But I say hahaaa..
We are on par.
Remember the days we sucked the tar,
The days we hold the jug and go Ta! Ta! Ta!
Yet friends you chose to think so far.
So far? Here’s a short one to show how far.
Know the famous shop named IKEA?
Yah.
There was this nice big tight sofa.

Tight sofa was made up of cushions.
Nice cushions arranged in an orderly fashion.
Then came some fission, fusion; evolution.
Cushions begin falling outta position.
Yes of course, my poor vision.
Aights. All will say “I beg a pardon?”
So, I say, “Yes, there is tension.”
Tensions meant to be cushioned.
Allow no room for revisions.
One who seeks a cushion,
Ain’t gonna get use to a brand new sofa invention.
Feel me good on this occasion,
I'm a bleeding cushion;
Not to mention,
Fo I’m still holdin’ the paten.
This ain’t no cushion, this is tension.
So here I reckon, bring on the convention.
Spare some room for intervention.

Here’s something cool,
Seems like a new clue?
Aights, I got u fooled.
My wool is more than 3 bags full.

Two Two Too?

2007-01-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

School adds some crunch to the time im having. Went through the books and i found something missing. Senile i am to not see this coming. It's in the age, if that's what i should be reading. 22 years of endless breathing, holding on to the fact that the dice is still casting. Back aint gonna be where im looking. For the sky im seeing, says yes, the world is still changing. I need something, which can get me going..

As the years pass, the sky gets overcast, and the music takes u on with some blasts, which makes u see some stars. So here's the speed the 22 light years passed - fast. It ain't time to pray for dusk, whenever dawn falls fast. The year of 21 has passed. The time has come, for the dice to be cast.

It is always darkest before the dawn, the weakest shall always be forgone. That ain't the picture i have drawn. I deserve some flowers at ma lawn.

Happy birthday to me, one day from the day i was born.

Rat Lets The Cat Outta The Bag

2007-01-06T02:10:00.000+08:00

There's more than one way to skin a cat. Here's ma concern - what are the steps?
Some think i'm mad. To the pockets, i stuff those cheques, to clear ma debts. But there're the rats, who force the cat, outta the bag. Here's the catch, who takes the rap? The cat or the rat? Do eu really have to skin the cat?
Figured it's ma bad, things turn so sad. So i put on ma thinking cap. My cap's crapped. It sends me jacks. I dropped the cap, not because behind the ears, it's wet, but because i cant take anymo grief to add. Let me find the reason to clap, fo' if not imma hit the rehabs.

The Fly Story

2007-01-04T21:36:00.001+08:00

The flies did their own thing. They eat drink, and be merry as far as i've seen. In flew a fly who ran out of steam. "Can i join in the team?" What a sin. A devil's advocate he is deemed. By me that is, as i speak.
He went "Eureka!" once. He went "Eureka!" twice. That was all it takes to bring on the vice. Double whammy came in hard on this fly, who turned a deaf ear to Mr. Advice. Fly says, "Imma give it a try." Advice says, "No dice, fly. No dice.."
Advice suggests cute as a bug's ear theory works here dearly. But Fly gets blind with making merry, in his party. Other flies stop making merry, and went down in tears Fly pities, fo' both grief and sympathy.
So big blind Fly says, "It is time. It is time.. Time to get down to brass tacks. It is ma bad, I took the wrong step, these handwriting on the wall I had, but I chose to take a big bet."
Everyone thinks now, "That new fly in our town - he has an axe to grind all this while. We will have to bring him down."
Battle lines are drawn. Fly stood vis-a-vis his conscience till dawn. He decides to fight this uphill battle alone as he sees the bond. The key word is then born. The word is, "Alone."
He's been high on the hog, with the love he's got. He deserves nothing of that sort. So all the time that he has bought, is all the time that he has got, not.
Out on a limb, he goes fo' the team. Seeking the thing, which keeps the flies in. To the dream team: Thanks fo' the dreams yo, thanks for the dreams. Wish me luck on this im in. This aint no cock and bull story it may seem. Not playing with a full deck u may think. But this is me im telling you team. Im the Fly who should never have been. The Fly has left the building, so has Elvis the king.
Excuse my french guys. Imma fucking be the fly on the wall aights.

The Heat From The Hit

2006-12-31T05:46:00.000+08:00

Days went with the weather.
Lightning flickers, with the roaring thunder.
In came the flood. The flood was hard.
Here’s the hard part. The flood sh(ar)ed blood.
I sailed my raft, despite tension draft.
This ain’t a time for a laugh.
A true test of crafts. No fluffs.
Tension river, ain’t no single endeavor.
I lost the paper, which covered the metres.
People I met, fed me with this fact:
"It's your bad. Eu lost the map."
The tides are bad, cut me some slack.
That's my best bet, that I can expect.
Cause I know that, it's ma bad. Ma fucking bad.
Halfway through the floods, I met the guards.
These coast guards, took what I've got, to heart.
"Talk a walk bud, we’ll ease the flood.
Your raft’s too weak, to take the heat."
I look down at ma feet.
Below it, ma raft creaks, like it's gonna split.
Here i admit, this ain’t no easy feat,
But peeps, listen to me preach, and say ma last bit.
Look at titanic, the world’s largest ship.
She went down deep, deep from the hit.
I am the captain of this trip.
My conscience creeps,
My guilt they eat, and big time they did.
But i will bleed, if i have to bleed.
‘He’ forbids, all ma deeds.
These deeds - albeit - are now called ‘dids’.
It's now I seek, as the currents hit.
Give me a chance, to clear ma shit.
A little faith, is all I need.
Farewell I bid. It's ma bad hit.

My Mind On Rhymes

2006-12-26T17:48:00.000+08:00

Someone says, "I expect entries which don't rhyme from eu, but guess what i saw, its the same ol' same ol' eu i saw."

Here's ma action, ma reaction, to the expectation:
How about I try a rebirth, on ma flat turf; To that order, I do a reverse, and put it across without a curse. So first things first, I don't immerse and rehearse, to do this verse. See, get what i mean, these lines they link, not like they mean nothing? Those who think, and intervene; they seen, ma sins, I pinned, with safety pins. Aights eu'd say, this's the point, when I toss the coin. Heads for a foin, of ma pointed joints, above ma loins; Tails for droppin' this point which intertwine. If its for fairness I'm hearin you whine. Aights Mike, that's right, it's a biased coin.
Rhymes came from the early times, when Shakespeare earned his dime, through his divine, hidden rhymes, which till the end of time, we will still pine. So why the rhyme yo, why the rhyme? A rhyme so fine, well-defined, stays in the mind, for a long long time.
Remember the days, when pills with hair so grey, get their annual pay, but what do they say all day? Kids get thrilled, with 'Jack and Jill, went up the hill, to fetch a pail..' Now here's ma bill, it's me you gotta feel. These pills, all they feel, is to fill, a metal steel, with pressin' bills, put 'em on grill, and have their meals. That's the deal, without fail; Get this drilled, there ain't no frills.
Bill, paid his dues, like the Jews, when there were lips, he can't seal.
Osama, the name itself, sends union elves, shouting, "Snow WHITE, Snow WHITE, we come to help. Though someone's finally getting you off the shelf." Colors today, I shall not dwell, though these colors they ring a bell, on some who fell, despite info claimed a well, on those nuclear cells, that were never found? Snow WHITE fell, but stays on the house, and recently tells, after catchin' Saddam in a cell, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, I gotcha in a cell, so info u sell, or imma give you hell!"
So, these are people we remember, fo' some they lose their temper, fo' some they hit the chambers, just to make brain generators, work much faster, to give thoughts and wonders. Fo' all that matters, in this battle, fo' a name to the "rhymin' people", rhymes - they dont need no hittin' the chambers, nor any visitin' the temples, to bring the effect mentioned earlier. Decipher, decipher.. These letters, with eu as the sender, they do matter, in the future.

The Hot Spot

2006-12-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

"Nearly all men can withstand adversity; If you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

Boys from the block, I say stop.. stop.
You gotta listen to this I've got.
Here's the sequence which is top-notch.
Not the regular ones, you may spot.
Something eu thought, blocks his cock.
That's a fraud, his big fault,
Right from the point eu starts the watch.
So time starts ticking, eu feels it creeping.
Eu start thinking, what's it missing?
Freedom walks in, and tells eu things.
"Bro, so you think you got things going.
Track your feelings, and give it meaning.
You the man, who's got the plan.
Do all you can, it's in your hands."
Brain juice fills up the think-tank.
Eu finds the plan, eu starts to thank.
Hey yo Freedom, what a friend, what a friend.
Here's the murky plan:
Let time decide who's the friend;
Let time decide who's the fan;
Revive the friends back then;
And eu'd know for whom, eu're the man.

Winter Adventure

2006-12-16T19:01:00.000+08:00

"Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble."
Quox from Shakespeare
The man who startles,
With his chefs-d'oeu·vres.
Here i cipher,
Though one might consider,
"Boring winter",
The only thought I harbour?
No, my answer.
I ain't no master,
Who holds the letters,
To the chamber,
Of poetry writers.
So here's ma battle,
With the 10-word riddle.
Never eu'd figure,
A 'Royal Rumble',
With a probable double.
Double trouble,
Sounds familar.
Like how kongg said god stole the thunder,
And placed it on the thighs of some people.
Not like what he said matters,
But that does simmer,
What i ponder.
And now i wonder,
There wasn't even a double.
So cauldron bubble,
It's meant for happy people?

Quox

2006-12-16T02:31:00.000+08:00

"A slip of the foot you may recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over." - Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin came up with his fair share of quox.
Quotes meant to coax might end up a hoax.

Equiquox

2006-12-15T23:56:00.000+08:00

What brought Equinox, whose thoughts fetched rocks?
Two times a year, the sun tries to block.
Ironic attempts, everyone thought.
The length of day and night he sorts.
How many times a year, do eu balance time like Equinox?
Answer comes as a shock, not.
Never once eu had a grip of the ticks and the tocks.
Stand eu fought: Weights get shifted round the clock.
(Status) Quo takes a shot at the ox.
Questions raised to why the shot?
Eu says peaceful moments are always short.
How weird a shot’s better than not.
Bad shot Quo’s got.
Ox got Quo caught.
So here I bring you what I’ve got.
A shot at the ox - by Quo - at Equinox.